I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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