i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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