Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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