I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
