I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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