He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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