I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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