I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I supernannyed him into submission
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
