i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
This house was built for laser tag.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
