you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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