his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
