so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
