can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
