She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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