apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
