Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
