Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
