I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
