I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
