I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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