Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Green mimosas i think yes
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
