we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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