I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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