How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize