About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
