ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
