6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
