I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
