i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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