then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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