im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
