It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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