I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
