Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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