She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
