Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
