I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
