I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
