There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
