i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
