"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
