How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Randomize