Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
