My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
