woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
this beer tastes like vomit already
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
