just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
