Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
