Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
