For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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