so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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