week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
