did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
