just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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