It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
