so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
