They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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