Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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