Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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