it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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