yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize