yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
