You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
